I Can't Fight How I Feel, Not Anymore
by sailor silvimoon
Summary: One of your 'Couple' buy a t-shirt or are given one by a friend with words on it in another language. They have no idea what it says, but it's actually quite sexual or provoking. The other of the 'Couple' knows exactly what it says and decides to do exactly what the t-shirt tells them. Written for the t-shirt signage challenge. WARNING: SLASH (DALARIC, DELIJAH, ELIRIC, STELENA)
1. Chapter 1

**T-SHIRT SIGNAGE CHALLENGE**

Title: **I CAN'T FIGHT HOW I FEEL, NOT ANYMORE**  
Type: Multipart Fic  
Pairing: Damon, Elijah, Alaric (Stefan and Elena in the background)  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Romance  
Rating: M  
Chapters: 1/?  
Status: Incomplete  
Summary: One of your 'Couple' buy a t-shirt or are given one by a friend with words on it in another language. They have no idea what it says, but it's actually quite sexual or provoking. The other of the 'Couple' knows exactly what it says and decides to do exactly what the t-shirt tells them. Written for the t-shirt signage challenge. WARNING: SLASH

DISCLAIMER: If I did own TVD, Matt Davis would be now right beside me, drinking cocktails on a Caribbean beach. Sadly, that can only be true in my dreams.

**AN/** I know I shouldn't have started with another story while I have so many already to finish, but ever since I saw this challenge, the images and ideas twirled through my mind, and I just had to write it down. This was supposed to be a one-shot when I started writing it while lying on the beach, but then I got a severe writer's block and I still can't get over it. I know I was supposed to update IFYP yesterday, and I'm sooooo sorry because I couldn't. As a _'please don't give up on me'_, I'm giving you this.

I was searching through my memories for where could I put this challenge in, and this somehow fit perfectly. It is set around the sacrifice in the end of season two with a few differences.  
I was reading (again) Dalaric and Delijah stories here on FF, and I couldn't decide which pairing suits best for this challenge, so I've decided, what the hell, to write with all three of them. So, the pairings are: Damon/Elijah, Damon/Alaric, Elijah/Alaric, Damon/Alaric/Elijah. And yes, it's a slash. I hope you'll like it and please review.

**WARNING**: SLASH If you don't like it, don't read.

* * *

It was over. The threat that all of them fought against was dead. Klaus was dead. Gone for good. Of course, there were casualties. Jenna was dead, John too, and Elena was a vampire. Damon forced her to drink his blood a day before the ritual, and the blood was still in her system when she died. That was also the day he was bitten by Tyler, while trying to save Elena's friend Caroline. He tried to keep it hidden from everyone, even though he was week, sweaty and disorient, but just when they were making plans how to kill Klaus, in the den of a Boarding House, he passed out. And that is how everyone learned his secret.

In only a few days, his life changed. Nothing mattered anymore. Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline were angry at him for doing, what he thought at that time, was the right choice. Elena now hated him, and he lost his best friend.

Damon was sitting in his third favorite place, a gazebo in the back of the Boarding House. His first favorite place was the chair in front of the fireplace, and the second, the barstool in the Grill. But, since Alaric was gone, he saw no reason being there alone.

He was alone, like always, looking at the empty garden, that was once, while his mother was alive, her pride and joy. Well, after her two boys, of course. The garden was now empty like him. Empty and alone.

He remembered the days when his mother was still alive. He and Stefan were always by her side, laughing and playing around the Salvatore estate. Even their father would join them sometimes. They were a happy family, until the day she died. He was fourteen, and Stefan ten years old, when she got bitten by a bee. Few days later she was buried in their family crypt. After her death, their father changed drastically. There was no more laughter, no celebrations, no Christmas, nothing. Giuseppe withdrawn to himself and his study, and Damon had only his brother. He couldn't wait to turn eighteen so he could leave. Sadly, life had other plans. When he was seventeen, Giuseppe forced him to join the army while Stefan stayed at home. When he took a leave seven years later, and returned for a week, Katherine, the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen, was there, and he fell for her instantly. Little did he know what she was, and that she was also playing with his brother.

Now, looking back, he knew she wasn't worth it. Wasn't worth losing over a century of his life searching for a way to free her from the tomb he thought she was in. Not worth losing his brother for her. Because, before she came to their lives, he and Stefan were close, they were best friends, and he let her ruin his relationship with his brother. He believed in her lies. Instead of hating his brother, he should've hate her. She never loved him, or Stefan. They were just her toys to play with. She compelled him to love her forever, after their transition. And he learned that after he came back from the dead for the second time. Thanks to Elijah, he was alive again. He was the one who brought the cure and saved his life.

BEGINNING OF THE FLASHBACK

Damon was in his bed, dying, while everyone else was fighting Klaus. He told Stefan that Bonnie was alive and where he could find her. To say that Stefan was surprised was an understatement, but he quickly understood that Bonnie had to stay 'dead' since she was their secret weapon against Klaus. Not until later, when everything was over, had he found out that Klaus turned Jenna as a revenge for Damon, after he saved Caroline and Tyler. Katherine tricked her, posing for Elena, to get her out of the house.

Everything was working for Klaus. He had his witch, a vampire, a werewolf and Elena for the sacrifice. Then Bonnie came and everything changed. Even though Klaus was weak, he was still strong since he already drained Elena. He would've won, but then Elijah came through. He ripped his brother's heart out and that was it. No one thought he would actually do it. They were brothers after all. But he gave them his word. While Stefan and Caroline took care of Bonnie and Elena, Elijah took Klaus's blood and rushed toward the Boarding House.

However, he was late. Damon was already dead. But, that didn't stopped him and he forced the blood on Damon's mouth, alongside his own blood, and waited. Soon after, the rest of the group arrived. Seeing Damon's lifeless body, Stefan cried and rushed toward the bed. Elijah told him that all that they could do now is wait. Wait for Elena to wake up and a miracle for Damon. So they waited. Since Stefan locked Alaric in one of the cells in the Boarding House basement, by Damon's order, for keeping him out of the fight, Caroline let him out. He was fuming at first, but when she told him what happened with Jenna, Elena and Damon, he didn't know where to go first. Somehow, his feet drove him toward Damon's room. He was stricken with grief over Jenna's death, but the unmoving Damon brought the tears to his eyes. And he waited too.

Elena woke up first. In the beginning, she didn't want to go through the transition, but one look at her brother, changed her mind. Soon after, she started remembering the two compulsions Damon did on her.

For three whole days, Stefan didn't moved from Damon's room. Waiting for that miracle. Stefan was slowly starting to lose faith, when suddenly, he saw a movement. One of Damon's fingers twitched, then others followed. Then he opened his eyes. To Stefan, that was the most beautiful sight he ever seen. His brother was alive! Once again, Elijah fed Damon with his own blood when Stefan called for him with the news. He wasn't far, just in the next room. It took a week for him to recover. And then everything came crashing down.

He was sitting in front of the fireplace, bottle of Bourbon in his hand, thinking of what he remembered. It left a sour taste in his mouth. All those years he was obsessed with her and hating his brother, when he could've found someone who would love him back. Someone who would actually choose him. He felt Elena sat beside him but he didn't acknowledge her, he just kept staring at the fire.

"I'm glad you're okay." He said, not making the eye contact.

He felt guilty. Guilty for forcing her to drink his blood, guilty for Jenna. She'd lost so much and he hated himself for his part in that.

"I remember." She said, dismissing his words.

She wasn't okay. She was a vampire. Something that was forced down on her. And she hated him for making the choice for her.

"I know." He said tiredly.

He knew this was coming. And he heard in her tone she hates him, and he also noticed the dismissal.

"We've met first. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Does it matter?" He asked back. When she didn't say anything, he continued. "I thought so."

"And I remember you returning the necklace to me and what you said. I'm sorry Damon, but I love Stefan. He is the one for me. I…"

"I know. It will always be Stefan." He stopped her, then asked. "Do you forgive me? For feeding you my blood?"

"I... No. Maybe someday I will." Elena answered truthfully.

"I understand. I am sorry, for all that's worth." Damon said, finally looking at her, and she saw in his eyes he meant it.

"This is for you." Elena said, handing him the envelope.

"What is that?" Damon asked, confused.

"Alaric left it for you." She answered, then left him alone.

Damon stared at the envelope in his hand like it was some strange object. He hadn't seen Alaric since he woke up. That one and only time when he squeezed his hand giving him the small smile that said he was happy he made it through. Damon thought he was probably grieving in his loft over losing Jenna. And he was recovering from being dead then alive again, so he decided to give him time. Finally opening and reading the letter, his first thought was that it was probably some kind of a joke, but after reading it the second time, he felt emotions overwhelming him. Disbelief, anger, hurt, guilt, loss, sadness, agony, betrayal… it was too much. He didn't even realized he was crying. His emotions were all over the place. In a blur, he started destroying the room he was in. Alaric was gone. And he left without even a proper goodbye. The letter wasn't good enough. He felt HE wasn't good enough. The only person he considered a friend was gone. In his rage, he didn't even heard Stefan's voice shouting at him. Suddenly, he was pinned against the wall. It took a few moments for him to compose himself. To realize where he was, what he'd done, and who exactly was holding him. Elijah. Tears were falling when he spoke in a voice that sounded strange to everyone who was listening.

"Why? Why did you even bother to save me.? You should've just let me die!"

"Damon." Elijah started calmly, like he was unaffected with everything.

Nothing on his face betrayed his thoughts. Because, the truth was, he liked the young cocky vampire he was now pinning against the wall. He liked him a lot. In his long life, he rarely took a lover, either a woman or a man, and he never felt what he felt now. Somehow, someway, along the road, he started caring for Damon. That is why he was always there to save him. The thought of losing Damon scared the hell out of him. He killed his own brother because he promised Damon he would. When Klaus said in his last moments that he will tell him where the rest of his family was, all he thought about was Damon, and how disappointed he would be if he backed out of his word. The shock in Klaus's eyes when he ripped out his heart…he wished Damon was there to witness it. Because…he did it for him. He took the blood of his brother and rushed toward the Boarding House. When he got there, he knew he was too late, but nevertheless, he poured the blood down Damon's throat alongside with his own blood. And he waited. Waited for that miracle. Three days later, it came. Damon was alive, and he suspected he was now his sire. He felt connected to him, like he felt connected to every other vampire he created. During the whole week of Damon's recovery, he was feeding him his blood. He seemed to be fine, until today. He wondered what happened to throw Damon to this frantic state. Hearing the words Damon said, and above all, the dejected look in his eyes, actually brought the tears to his eyes, but he forced them back.

"Let me go." Damon whispered brokenly. "Just let me go."

And he did. He watched Damon leaving the trashed room and going upstairs toward his own room.

When Elijah released him, he walked slowly, not even noticing his brother or Elena on his way up. He didn't care anymore. He was alone once again, but this time it hurt. It hurt so much. He climbed into his bed and let the tears fell.

"It's my fault." Elena whispered, looking at the disaster of the room.

Everything was trashed. The books were on the floor, bottles of Damon's most expensive drink broken, the furniture all over the place, few chairs were even outside since Damon throw them through the window. The walls had holes inside them, paintings ripped and glass shattered on the floor.

"What do you mean?" Stefan asked puzzled.

Elena then told them about her conversation with Damon and her two compulsions she remembered. She should've waited. She knew that now. Waited until Damon was better. But, how could she knew that her words would have this effect on Damon?

Suddenly, Elijah saw one paper lying on the floor near the fireplace. He picked it up and read it. And suddenly, he knew. This was the main reason for Damon's actions. He was aware how close Damon and the teacher were. He saw it with his own eyes. Them, drinking together, laughing, plotting… After a discreet investigation, among other things, he learned that Alaric was Damon's friend. His only friend. And now, he was gone. And Elijah suspected that Damon was feeling alone, betrayed, rejected…he also suspected that Damon has feelings for the teacher that went beyond friendship. It was the feeling he got every time he saw them together.

"I don't think that it was your fault, Elena." Elijah said, giving them the letter.

_Damon. _

_When you read this, I'll be long gone. I'm truly happy you are okay after you scared all of us to the death. I've waited to be certain of your state before doing this. I told Elena to give you this after you fully recover. My guess, a week or two would do. _

_I'm sorry for leaving like this, but I knew if I'd voiced my thoughts, you would try to stop me. It is better this way, for both of us. _

_I need this, Damon. Please understand why I need to leave Mystic Falls, you… I need some time alone. Here, everything reminds me…_

_I need to move on._

_I hate to say that lime line 'It's not you, it's me', but it kinda applies and fits here._

_You know I came to Mystic Falls to kill you, but then you became my friend. I thought Isobel was dead, then she turned up and messed with everyone. Including me. Even though I've stopped loving her, she was still my wife, my past. Then Jenna happened and I felt alive again. Everything happened so fast. One moment we were planning our next date, and the next moment she was ripped away from me. Once again, I've lost a woman I cared about. A woman I loved. _

_And then, there is you. I don't blame you for her death, and I'm not mad at you for making Stefan to lock me up for my protection. Truth is, I wouldn't be of much help, being the human in the vampire battle. I realize that now. _

_You became my friend in a very short amount of time after all I wanted is to kill you, and that is also something I need to work out with myself. That is not normal. And yes, maybe I'm all screwed up, but all this feelings inside are killing me._

_I don't know for how long I'll be gone, for how long will this self-search last…or when will I return…if ever…_

_I'm sorry…I'm sorry for leaving (you), but this is something I just nee to do._

_Please forgive me._

_Ric_

After reading it, Elena felt guilt. She gave him the letter after her words. Now, when she was a vampire, she understood better what Stefan once told her about emotions in a vampire. And Damon just lost her and his best friend. She didn't know what to do. How to comfort Damon. The only thing she was sure of, is that she was the last person Damon wanted to see.

Stefan felt hopeless. He loved his brother and he wanted to help him. But he was clueless in what way. He wanted his brother back, he wanted back that closeness they had when they were young and still human. He didn't realized it until Damon passed out in front of him from the werewolf bite. Seeing the bite, and looking at his brother who was dying was the hardest thing he ever did. He knew his brother. When he loved someone, he loved unconditionally, completely. He was like that when they were humans, and it magnified when they became vampires. He suspected Damon acted like this, not because of what Elena said to him, no, it was because his friend was gone. His only friend. And quite possible the man Damon had feelings for that weren't just friendship. Hearing the words, in so broken tone, that he wanted to die, broke his heart. Literally.

Elijah saw how both Stefan and Elena are lost in what to do. Sighing, he spoke.

"I'll go see him." At Stefan's raised eyebrow, he explained. I don't think that seeing either of you now will help him. You are too close to both him and Alaric. I'm not.

Elijah entered Damon's room and he felt a stab in his heart seeing Damon crying his heart out on his bed. Against his better judgment, he walked toward the bed, laying down next to Damon, and pulled him into his embrace. Instantly, he felt Damon froze in his arms, then lifting his head up. Their eyes were an inch apart, and Elijah wanted to kiss every tear on Damon's face, but he knew it was not the time.

"Shhh. Everything will be okay. Just let it all out. I'm here for you." Elijah said gently, noticing how Damon's eyes went wide, then they filled with more tears.

"No, it will not. I've lost everything. Elena, Alaric, Stefan. I have nothing left. Why did you even bother to save my life? You should've just let me die." Damon said, but he didn't move from Elijah's embrace. Somehow, it soothed him. Not wanting to dwell on that, he pushed that thought away.

"You're so wrong, you have no idea how much. Stefan cares about you. You should've seen him when you didn't woke up, when you actually died. He was stricken with grief. Elena will forgive you someday. Alaric will be back. He just needed some time. And you have me. Now that I'm your sire. I care about you. I couldn't let you die." Elijah said, trying to comfort Damon.

"Why?" Damon asked, not breaking the eye contact. He was surprised hearing all that from the Original.

"Because…" Elijah was, for the first time, lost for words. Instead he showed him, placing his lips on Damon's. He thought that the young vampire would back down and he was very surprised when Damon, after a moment of hesitation, returned the kiss.

* * *

**AN/** This is it for the first chapter. Tell me what you think. And yes, I know that when a vampire dies, he can't be brought back to life, and especially the sire can't be changed, but work with me on this one and pretend that everything is possible. I'm craving for your reviews! IFYP will be out, I hope by the end of the week. So, take your time, and please, leave me a thought or two. *pleading look*

Oh, yeah, before I forget, the flashback is still not over and it will continue in the next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

Title: **I CAN'T FIGHT HOW I FEEL, NOT ANYMORE**  
Type: Multipart Fic  
Pairing: Damon, Elijah, Alaric (Stefan and Elena in the background)  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Romance  
Rating: M  
Chapters: 2/?  
Status: Incomplete  
Summary: One of your 'Couple' buy a t-shirt or are given one by a friend with words on it in another language. They have no idea what it says, but it's actually quite sexual or provoking. The other of the 'Couple' knows exactly what it says and decides to do exactly what the t-shirt tells them. Written for the t-shirt signage challenge. WARNING: SLASH

DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Sadly.

**AN/ **Firstly,a **warning.** This chapter contains slash, so if you are not into it, I suggest to stop reading. You have been warned.

The flashback is still on, like I've mentioned in the end of the first chapter.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Damon literally froze sensing Elijah's lips on his and his eyes went wide again. However, he needed something physical to help him forget. To help him ease this pain he was feeling. Deep down he knew he was just using Elijah, but in that moment, he didn't care. He was surprised. Elijah was gentle as if he was kissing someone who would break in any moment. Part of Damon was angry at that treatment, but part of him was glad. It felt nice. Soothing. Nothing at all he imagined kissing the Original vampire would feel like. Yes, the thought of kissing Elijah and sleeping with Elijah, did cross his mind once or twice, just out of curiosity, mind you. However, he never got the chance to act on it. Until now. He wondered if this would've happen if he wasn't a wreck, emotionally and physically. Probably. He noticed the looks Elijah threw at him from time to time. He also noticed those extra seconds when Elijah held him after saving his life a few months ago. They were vampires after all. Not strictly straight or gay. The rules didn't apply to them. In his undead life, Damon had only four male lovers, but he never felt like this. And now, he had a chance to explore this, what ever this thing between the Original and him, was. Making the decision, he gave in.

Elijah noticed the very second Damon lowered his guard down and he deepened the kiss. He knew Damon needed this, needed something physical to let go of the pain he was feeling. At least for the time being. However, he wondered whether it would be enough. Would HE be enough. He wondered what tomorrow would bring. Would they continue with this or this was just a one time thing. He would respect Damon's whishes what ever he decides. No matter how hard it would be for him. But, he will do anything to help the young vampire, he was certain of that.

Kissing Damon was perfect, better than he ever dreamed. Gently, he lifted Damon's t-shirt up and caressed his skin. In the same time, he felt Damon's fingers unbuttoning his shirt. Elijah broke the kiss and got up. In a flash, he removed his suit and the shirt he was wearing. He was surprised to see panic in Damon's eyes and he raised his brow, then returned back to bed. The panic was gone in instant, and Elijah decided not to comment.

Damon was startled when Elijah broke the kiss and got up. _'Why did he stop?'_ He thought, but then he noticed what Elijah was doing. He took off his t-shirt when Elijah returned, lying next to Damon, but this time he waited for the young vampire to start first. Damon's hands traveled over Elijah's chest, then he pulled him down for another kiss, this time more urgent and harder. He was done with the gentleness. Their tongues fought for domination while their hands explored each other. Just touching and kissing wasn't enough for Damon. He wanted more. When his fingers started unbuttoning Elijah's pants, the Original stopped him and asked.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. I need you. I want you." Damon answered, looking at the Original vampire in the eyes, so that Elijah could see the truth in them.

In the next moment, they were both naked and Damon pulled Elijah on top of him. Both of them were already hard, and while they continued to kiss, they stated to stroke each other as well. They didn't used their vampire speed, wanting to feel every part of their lovemaking, every touch, every kiss. Damon gripped the sheets when Elijah started sucking his hard dick with such experience he soon shouted Elijah's name in ecstasy, emptying himself into his mouth. But, their game wasn't over. As soon as his breathing calmed, Damon flipped them over, so that now he was on top of Elijah, giving the Original vampire the same treatment. Exhausted, they drifted into a peaceful sleep, their limbs tangled together.

/

Both Stefan and Elena could hear what was said upstairs in Damon's room, and their heart broke hearing Damon's words. Stefan's the most. Suddenly they heard silence, and before Stefan could stop her, Elena used his vampire speed and rushed to see is everything was okay. The door of Damon's room weren't fully closed and she took a peek. Her face went bright red seeing Damon and Elijah kissing and touching. She stormed back downstairs and mouthed Stefan to go out with her.

Stefan almost laughed aloud seeing Elena's face and shock written on her face. She was new to this vampire thing and he knew he had to explain to her what she saw. When they heard only silence, he suspected what was going on. Even though Elijah was a closed person, never showing his emotions, Stefan was, sometimes, able to detect he was attracted to his brother. Why else would he bother to save him so many times, or even kill his own brother? Or rush back with the cure? And feeding him his own blood until he was okay? He wondered what will happen when Alaric returns. Because he knew his brother. Damon, being in this vulnerable state, will start to feel something for the Original vampire, atop of his feelings for Alaric. One of them will surly get hurt. Either Elijah or Alaric. Or will Damon manage the impossible. The three of them being together. Stefan smiled. If anyone was capable of doing that, it would be Damon.

"What's wrong?" Stefan asked when they were walking through the woods around the Boarding House.

"Is it safe? They won't hear us?" Elena asked, throwing a panic look back at the house.

"No, we are out of their hearing range. Besides, I think they are quite busy." Stefan smiled knowingly.

"You knew!" Elena accused. "Why didn't you stop me?"

"I tried. Listen, Elena. It's okay."

"How can you say that? They are…" Elena was lost for words, and she, once again, blushed deep red.

"Elijah is comforting him in the way Damon now needs. Through a physical contact. And you will see them quite often together from now on. Just a heads up."

"But…don't get me wrong, but I thought Damon loved…" Elena didn't know how to say it without Hurting Stefan.

"You?" Stefan asked gently, noticing how uncomfortable she got.

"Yeah." She looked at her boyfriend gratefully. "And I thought he was straight."

"No vampire is ever straight, Elena. When you live a long life, you end up exploring. You will too, in time."

"And you won't be jealous?" Elena asked stunned.

"Part of me, the human one will be jealous, but the vampire part will understand. With time, those two parts will learn to coexist and that will be that. I will always love you, no matter what."

"I will always love you too." Elena smiled and kissed him.

After the kiss, they stayed in each other arms when Elena remembered what Stefan said. She lifted her head from Stefan's chest and looked him questionably.

"Did you ever had sex with a man before?"

"Like I said, we end up exploring. Once or twice." He confessed. "But I like women, though."

"You know, a few years back, Caroline and I kissed." Elena said, looking at Stefan underneath her lashes and she saw him raising his eyebrow. "We were curious what would it be like."

"And?" Stefan asked, getting hard at the mental image his mind was creating.

Elena noticed his instant hardness and smiled. "It felt nice, but in the same time awkward. We never told anyone about it."

"I won't tell. Your secrets are safe with me, Elena." Stefan promised, and she knew he was telling the truth. "How about we return to the house?" He asked, and Elena nodded.

They walked toward Stefan's part of the house, but on their way there, they could hear moans coming from Damon's room. Stefan sat on the chair near his desk near the window and Elena sat on the end of the desk in front of him, straddling him in the process. Not breaking the eye contact, her hand traveled down Stefan's chest, then in one swift move, ripped the shirt open. In instant, Stefan knew what Elena was planning and he pulled her onto his lap, giving her the knowing smile. Oh, he was definitively on board.

"Not trying to question your motives, but what got into you?" Stefan asked curious. "You are never this straightforward."

"Is it wrong that hearing them makes me horny as hell? I want you, Stefan. I want you hard and rough!" Elena answered hotly, rubbing herself against Stefan's arousal underneath his pants.

Stefan's answer was a rough kiss on her lips and getting them naked as quickly as possible. Since they were both vampires, he didn't have to fear he could harm her. He entered her in one rough move and she moaned, digging her nails into his naked back.

"Oh, God! Yes, Stefan! Fuck me! Fuck me hard! Don't hold back!" Elena said breathlessly between the kisses, and Stefan complied to her wishes.

They were everywhere. On the desk, on the floor, against the wall, and lastly, they ended on the bed, breathing heavily, after they both had the orgasms of their lives.

"I knew you were holding back when I was still human but never realized exactly how much! That was awesome!" Elena said, when she was finally capable of forming a coherent sentence.

"I would've killed you if I didn't hold back." Stefan answered, pulling her into his arms.

Elena smiled and closed her eyes. In a matter of seconds, they both drifted to a peaceful sleep.

/

Damon stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He was startled at first, sensing a sleeping body next to him, but he felt strangely relaxed. They were pressed to each other in the middle of his large bed. One arm was wrapped around his waist, and Damon felt soft breath on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Elijah sleeping peacefully. Then he returned his eyes toward the ceiling. In instant, memories came back. He remembered what Katherine did to him, Elena's words that she can't forgive him for turning her into a vampire. Not yet, anyway.

He remembered the goodbye letter from his best friend, the anger and betrayal he felt after reading it. Vaguely, he remembered trashing the living room downstairs. He never felt so many emotions in the same time before. Alaric's words cut him like vervained knives, and he felt tears forming in his eyes, but he quickly blinked them away. _'No. I can't think about his leaving.'_ He thought. Because if he did that, those, for now, suppressed emotions will return again.

He remembered crying in his bed when Elijah came and kissed him for the first time. It felt good. Damon knew he used the Original vampire to ease his pain and now he felt ashamed. What will Elijah think of him now after everything that happened yesterday? He didn't want to lose him, but he was Damon Salvatore! He always manages to screw things up and everyone seems to leave him in the end. He didn't know where to go from now. Elijah would surly think he was weak after his breakdown, and that's the last thing he wanted. He always portrayed himself as a strong vampire. Strong, unaffected man. And now, after learning his best friend had left, he broke down like a child. How can he even look Elijah in the eyes after that? And what will happen when Elijah woke up?

They kissed, okay, they did more than kissing. He was confused. Why did Elijah kissed him? Sure, last night he said he cares for him and he showed him how much. He felt it in his kiss. And Damon cared for Elijah as well, if he was honest with himself. He admired the Original vampire. Someday, he wanted to be like him, but mostly, he craved for his approval. If they end up in a relationship after today, which part of him secretly wanted, what about Alaric? He felt something for the teacher who used to be his best friend. Wouldn't that be a little dishonest to both Alaric and Elijah if he starts something serious with Elijah? How can he be in love with both of them in the same time? _'Love? How did that word came to his mind?'_ He frowned as his head started to hurt.

Deciding it would be better not to over think things, he turned his head and was met with a chocolate brown eyes that were now open.

/

Being a light sleeper, something he mastered in his long life, Elijah knew the very second Damon woke up. When he opened his eyes, he saw Damon looking at the ceiling and he could practically hear the thoughts and questions that were running through his mind. When he saw a tear that was quickly blinked away, Elijah felt a tug in his heart. _'Was Damon regretting what happened between them?' _Just thinking about that possibility hurt him, and he didn't know what he will do if that was the case. He decided he would wait for Damon to notice he was awake. He didn't have to wait very long. A few moments later, their eyes met.

Damon was like an open book to him. Because he knew where to look. Damon may act like a _'I don't give a damn'_ kind a way, but his eyes betrayed him every time. And now, Elijah could see a flick of pain, nervousness, uncertainty, and was there a tiny trace of hope too?

"Are you regretting what happened between us?" Elijah suddenly asked, desperately needing to know.

Damon's eyes widened hearing the question, but he couldn't lie. Not when his eyes were locked with Elijah's. "No." He answered truthfully. "Are you?" He asked timidly. He felt strange. Uncertain for everything for the first time in his life, and that scared him.

"No." Elijah answered, and saw Damon relaxed for a bit. "What's wrong? And don't lie, I can clearly see something is bothering you."

Elijah waited patiently, noticing the way Damon bit his lover lip and a small blush that was forming on his cheeks. And he found that adorable.

"It's just…I don't want you to think I used you. In a way I did, but in the same time I wanted to know what would be like sleeping with you." He finally confessed.

"I was a willing participant as well, if you recall." Elijah stated. "Don't think that you used me. you needed something to forget and I'm glad I was here to help you. Besides, I wanted this for quite some time now. I felt the attraction for the first time we officially met at the Lockwood's. You were so arrogant and dared to take me down even though I am stronger and older than you."

"And you drove a pencil through my neck." Damon rolled his eyes.

"Well, someone needed to teach you some manners." Elijah snorted.

"What now?" Damon asked after the trip down the memory line was over.

"What do you mean?" Elijah frowned at the question.

"I mean, where do we go from here"? Damon elaborated, preparing himself for the worst scenario. "You probably have a lot of things to do, people to see. I hardly think you'll want to stay…"

"I'm not leaving you, Damon." Elijah interrupted him, knowing very well what was going through the young vampire's mind.

"I wouldn't blame you." Damon whispered, lowering his eyes. _'Everyone does, in the end. I always end up alone.' _He thought solemnly.

As if he could hear his thoughts, Damon felt fingers on his chin and his head was lifted. Their eyes met and locked again. Damon looked so vulnerable right now, it broke Elijah's heart.

"I am not leaving." He repeated, then narrowed his eyes. "I thought I showed how much you mean to me. Do you think I'm a kind of person who sleeps around? With just anybody?"

"No! I didn't mean it like that!" Damon answered hurriedly, desperate for Elijah to believe him. "It's just now, after everything, I don't know where we stand!"

"Do you want us to be, well, _'us'_?" Elijah asked. "We can start slowly, getting to know each other, spend some time together?"

"I would like that." Damon answered, smiling. "So how about we start over?"

"What do you mean?" It was now Elijah's turn to be confused, and Damon found that quite satisfying.

Instead of answering, Damon rolled on his side, placed his hand on Elijah's broad chest, and not breaking the eye contact, pressed his lips on the Original vampire. The small butterfly kiss turned to a heated one in a matter of a second, and Damon found himself getting hard. He rubbed himself against Elijah's growing hardness, and smirked.

"Good morning." Damon said, breaking the kiss. "I'm gonna take a shower. Wanna join in? Water preservation and all that!"

"Water preservation." Elijah snorted getting up after Damon, and together they walked toward the bathroom.

/

The shower was big enough for the two of them and they started soaping each other with gentle touches. It felt nice, taking care of each other. Damon put some soap on his hands and started stroking Elijah's already hard member with one hand, while his other hand went behind. He looked at Elijah, asking for permission and the Original vampire nodded. Damon started rubbing between Elijah's ass cheeks and his finger massaged the hole. Then he slid in causing Elijah moaned in ecstasy, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. Between the hand job, and Damon's finger in his ass, he was feeling pure pleasure. Damon removed his finger and kissed Elijah gently on the lips then stuck his tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. Elijah's hands went around Damon's waist, pulling him closer. Their members rubbed against each other, and for the next few minutes they were moaning loudly.

"Bite me." Damon spoke between the kisses.

Elijah vamped out and Damon thought he was more beautiful now than before. It triggered something within him and he was more than eager to feel Elijah's teeth on his neck. As if he could read Damon's thoughts, Elijah kissed his way down to the pulse point on Damon's neck and did what Damon wanted. He wasn't rough, but he wasn't exactly gentle, but Damon moaned anyway. Elijah drank the blood then stopped when he felt Damon trembling from pleasure against him. He licked the wound closing it, then returned to kiss Damon on the lips.

Damon was in heaven. When he felt his own blood in Elijah's mouth, he exploded since Elijah started stroking his dick while drinking from him. They continued to kiss underneath the hot water, then Damon dropped on his knees and started sucking Elijah's member. It didn't take long for the Original vampire to find his release and he exploded in Damon's mouth. Elijah pulled Damon up and kissed him deeply. After they finished washing each other, they got dressed and, hand in hand, walked downstairs.

* * *

**AN****/** IMPORTANT: THE FLASHBACK IS STILL ONGOING

Ok, I'm gonna stop here. I hope you like this new development. I think it will be four (maybe five) chapters in total for this story. 1/3 of the third chapter has been written, but I don't know when will I finish and post it. I'm looking forward to read your thoughts, they mean a lot to me.


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